Following my silliness yesterday I wanted to pay due respect to our ancestors on this day which, as I noted yesterday, was originally set aside following the Civil War as Decoration Day – a day to decorate the graves of veterans. In 1971 it was renamed Memorial Day and declared a national holiday.
Ancestors and the spirits of ancestors have been worshiped and celebrated since at least the beginning of cave drawings (hieroglyphics). In some cultures the ancestral gods took on many of the characteristics of we humans. In fact, “Ancestor worship includes all of the attitudes and acts usually associated with the worship of nonancestral gods and spirits. According to some scholars and theorists, ancestral spirits are anthropocentric conceptions similar to other supernatural beings; that is, the spirits have the qualities of personality and the capabilities of man, to which supernatural potency is added. The spirits see, hear, feel, understand, and communicate with the living; they make moral judgments; they are wishful, willful, joyful, angry, stern, permissive, kind, cruel, and sometimes capricious; and they have all the other emotions and traits of human beings.” (Google ancient Greek ancestor worships which then takes one to the site of cyperspace.com/religion)
In modern day cultures ancestors worship or even ancestor appreciation appears to diminish as our concept of community shrinks. Other scholars seem to think that this correlates with the emphasis on the nuclear family, which is certainly prevalent in the United States, although much is being written about how the concepts of individualism and nuclear family are transforming cultures and tradition in such countries as China and Japan.
In the United States certain ancestors are honored with monuments, the naming of a building or school at a university or occasionally with a biography, a presidential library or other “suitable” remembrance. Halloween is a commercial holiday in the United States. Much of the original connection to ancestors has been ignored or lost. Perhaps our Christian and Jewish heritage concept of a jealous God makes us particularly cautious about honoring ancestor Gods.
I am old enough that when I was young, our extended family – at least on the paternal side of the family – would gather on Memorial Day at the cemetery where many of our ancestors were buried. Graves would be cleaned and decorated while “ancestral” history was shared. All the women would have packed a lunch of fried chicken, potato salad, desert, ice tea and other goodies. I think that tradition ceased when my paternal grandmother got too old to continue although I am not sure since I left home at 18 and was never again home for Memorial Day. Two of my sisters, Bonnie and Pat, continue to insure that the graves are tended. There used to an association to which I would periodically donate money to help maintain this cemetery but I must confess that I have been lax in checking to find out to whom I should be sending money.
In many communities there will be small flags placed by the tombstones of all those buried in National Cemeteries. In some communities there will be speeches by politicians and representatives of veterans groups. We also have set aside a day in November to honor veterans.
Given that this is memorial day in a presidential election year, there will also be many discussions or, in some cases, pronouncements about such military actions by the United States as our invasion of Iraq. In fact in the May 24th issue of the Tampa Tribune, page 10, there was an article by Rebecca Santana of the Associated Press, detailing the frustration of Iraq Veterans by debate on the Iraq war. “Some veterans say they long ago concluded that their sacrifice was in vain…” Although there is also some debate about our invasion of Afghanistan, it is certainly not as widespread as that about our invasion of Iraq. As we know, there is no longer any illusion that we have created a more just and stable country in Iraq. Those of us who are old enough will recall many discussions and much mistreatment of many of the Vietnam War veterans. (Although I am a veteran of that era I did not serve in any combat situation.) There are also those veterans such as Mara Keown. “Marla Keown, who drove trucks in Iraq for a year during her time in the Army reserves, said its taken too long for politicians to admit the mistake of a war that killed, 4, 491 U.S. Troops and left countless Iraqis dead. Its heard to see the good in war in general-let alone a war that everyone just now is realizing that we shouldn’t have done …”(quoted in afore mentions articles by Ms. Santrana)
Another article in the Tampa Tribune on the 24th was by Joe Brown entitled “Honoring Greatest Generation”. He is referring to World War II about which there is less controversy although there are those who argue that if we want to take a scholarly look at World War II we need to carefully examine the history leading up to creating conditions in Germany which allowed for the “success of Hitler”. (For example, read the works of Vera Britain, the English writer. One can also read the works of Dr. Alice Miller.)
Goodness! What are we to make of this holiday? We could join the majority of community and family members who will focus on enjoying their immediate or extended family with little thought or discussion of ancestors, the ethics of various wars or other serious subjects. We could also, of course, join the legion of people who will take advantage of the shopping bargains.
Another option might be to join those relatively few who will gather in places of worship to pray for the souls of the ancestors and/or to call upon their god to watch over those fighting for democracy or “The American way”. In many of those places of worship it will be difficult to determine whether we are calling upon our red, white and blue God or a more universal God.
Still another option might be to consider the possibility that we set aside blame or praise for being “right” in our actions as individuals, communities and a nation. Instead we could focus on the fact that we can learn from our ancestors without degrading or criticizing anyone for past actions. As I have mentioned in previous blogs we could, as a nation, learn from the 12-step program, which originated as a program to help alcoholics reclaim their lives and now helps those addiction to various substances and behavior. That program very clearly advocates that we complete a “fearless moral inventory” if we want to recover. This is done without any need for shame, rebuke, or punishment. This is done with the sole intent of healing and moving forward. Healing requires a diagnosis. A diagnosis requires that I look at what is working and what is not working. It may be that we humans have failed in our attempt to force peace or other behavioral changes. If we determine that is the case we can perhaps begin to explore alternative approaches. This does not dishonor those who, in good faith, fought in a particular war or battle.
What would our ancestors say about this approach? Judging by the comments of such individuals as the former heads of Shin Bet, the Israeli Intelligence Service as recounted in the film, “The Gatekeepers” they might say that it takes courage to honestly examine our past behavior, learn from it, and move forward with a new approach.
Of course, those readers who follow the teachings of Jesus or the Buddha will have heard these recommendations every time they read the words of these teachers.
One of my ancestors if my grandmother Fanny Pickett. She died a number of years ago, but until she died, she learned a new word every day. She was also a vociferous reader and letter writer. When staying with her she insisted that we spend a portion of every day learning. I was not surprised that she wrote me a letter the day before she died but which I did not receive until a week after her death.
My thinks to my father, my grandparents, my Aunt Pleasie and Uncle Harold and my many valued friends, who have left a piece of their spirit and, thus, their wisdom with me.
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